My husband gave me a wonderful day yesterday. His name is Jay. I guess I’ll start referring to him by name. Anyway, before we moved to Arkansas over 2 ½ years ago, we lived in Virginia. It was such a beautiful area. We lived in a valley surrounded by mountains. We used to spend a lot of time driving around, checking out the scenery. There were different roads we liked to go down, depending on how we were feeling. Driving was something I used to do even before I met my husband. It helps me relax and take my mind off of things.
Since we have moved to Arkansas, we have not been able to afford to put gas in our car just to drive around. I have really been wanting to do this lately. I have been aching to go out driving. Jay surprised me yesterday morning by asking if I would like to go for a drive. He found a route that wouldn’t be driving through neighborhoods or on interstates/highways. We drove for close to 3 hours. Just talking and checking out the scenery. It was great. I cried as I was driving us home. He was so sweet to do that for me. It really did make me feel better. We have been having a rough couple of weeks, so it was nice to connect over something relaxing and not have to argue about decisions or money.
We have decided to try and be easier on each other. Our disorders really seem to be clashing right now, and it’s been incredibly difficult on both of us (though I tend to only see how I am affected). We have decided to try to keep in the forefront of our damaged minds that, even when we feel hurt and attacked, the other person is on our side and not trying to hurt us. We both want the same things – to live harmoniously and peacefully. We are committed to staying together until one of us dies, so we need to remember that when we each start to feel “sketchy”. We don’t want to unnecessarily attack, criticize, condemn, hurt, etc the other person. Jay is the only person in the world I have to count on. He is the only person who has stuck by me. I am quite sure that he would say the same about me. We are really trying to treat each other right, and not let our disorders poison our marriage. It is only Day 2 of this mindset. So far I am hopeful.