How ironic. Just as I was thinking things were getting better, it all goes to shit. Why does the fact that I am told that I can’t change things not make it better? It is my understanding that I do not have the tools to “fix” what is wrong with me. I was never taught how to properly regulate emotions. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO ACT RIGHT. No matter how hard I try, I cannot change this. I literally CANNOT CHANGE THIS. I have tried. I have tried so hard!!! I have spent so much time wondering why, when I try and I try and I try, I still cannot change anything. Then, when I was diagnosed with BPD, it all made sense. That’s why I can’t change it alone! I know that I need help to do this. I am trying. I am seeking counseling. I am looking online for self help. I am reading about the triumphs and the struggles of other people with the same diagnosis. I cannot do any more. I’m tired of trying and failing. I’m so sick of this.
I guess that’s it, then