My anger is starting to get out of control. It has been simmering below the surface for a while, but so far I’ve been able to keep it suppressed. All I’ve had to do, up till now, is slam my fist down on something hard. That get’s the anger out pretty well. Not this weekend. I exploded. I don’t even remember most of it. The end result was a hole in the wall from my fist, a hole in the wall from my foot, a falling off the wall doorframe, a broken lamp, and a petrified dog. I had tried to talk to my doctor on Friday about my anger. I could feel it getting more and more intense. I almost threw a stapler across my office the other day. There wasn’t much she said that helped me. She said she understood my problem to be emotional regulation (dysregulation?), and that that topic would be approached at some point. Great. Until then we are learning how to make it through a crisis situation without killing ourselves. I guess that’s good, but I really need to get these emotions under control. My cutting is getting worse, too. All the poisons are coming out. Unfortunately not in very positive or healthy ways. My one-on-one therapy should start soon. I hope I can hold out till then.
Who is this angry girl? She’s new.