My main therapist yesterday told me she thought I had some sort of anxiety disorder on top of Borderline Personality Disorder. That gave me some relief. I have known I am incredibly anxious for quite a while. A looong while. Having a name for my craziness makes me feel validated. Like I’m not really crazy. LOL – did I just write that? I am going to see a new medical doctor/psychiatrist today, and I am going to ask for an anti-anxiety medication. What I REALLY want is valium or klonopin, but I guess everyone wants those. I have a history of alcohol dependency (though I really think it was just episodic, and not an actual thing I struggle with), so I know they will be hesitant to give me a lovely benzodiazapem. I am going to ask for buspar which apparently works like a benzo, but doesn’t have the addictive aspects.
Anyway, I looked into the different anxiety disorders. I immediately assumed that I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, but quickly ruled that out. I may feel anxious a lot of the time, but it is never about something specific. Like a loved one dying in a car crash. Or losing my job. Or just being afraid all the time that SOMETHING is going to happen. Then, I moved on to Panic Disorder. I have been having panic attacks pretty regularly lately. That is definitely a possibility. I think maybe Social Anxiety Disorder may be closer to it, though. I freak out about going into stores by myself. I’m sometimes afraid to answer the phone. I HATE talking to people, whether I know them or not. I avoid situations where I do have to interact with people. SAD (what a fitting acronym) is characterized by being afraid of interacting with people because you think you will be judged or make a fool of yourself. I just thought that was part of my BPD. Nope! Lucky me! I get another diagnosis!
Ehh, I don’t care. Pile them up. I will take all I can get. Maybe, if I end up with a bucket-full of diagnoses, people will understand the depth of what I’m going through. Naw, probably not even then.
My husband and I used to compete for labels. A few years ago I was winning. Of course, I don’t agree with those diagnoses anymore, but I was winning then!! He has me beat now. I have BPD and SAD. Ready for his list? He ABSOLUTELY has the following: Bipolar, Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He is symptomatic for and it has been suggested that he has: Borderline Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, and Schizotypal Personality Disorder. I think he probably has Generalized Anxiety Disorder, too (though maybe that’s part of the PTSD)
I think my dog may have BPD, too. Or some type of anxiety disorder due to our screaming. We are just a house full of crazies! Never a dull moment! LMCAO (laughing my CRAZY ass off)