Maybe this will help? Here’s hoping!

I haven’t written anything in a while.  I’m not sure why.  There have definitely been things that I could blather on about. 

I have decided that I can’t read other people’s blogs as much as I have been.  They are bringing me down.  Triggering me.  Encouraging me to cut.  Making me think crazy is ok.  Hindering normalcy. 

I went through my email this morning and saw that I had almost 200 blogs that I subscribe to I needed to read.  The more I read, the more anxious I became.  I was thinking about cutting.  I was coming out of my skin.  I was doing kinda ok this morning, but started to come unhinged while reading about the struggles of others.  I decided that I needed to STOP.  As I skimmed through the blogs in my email, I made note of which blogs to remove from my email list.  I did not unfollow anyone as I would not like to see my numbers go down, and I’m sure it’s the same for everyone else.  There are still some that I will receive in my email as they are written, but that number has decreased DRAMATICALLY from what it was.

I hope this helps me somewhat.  Apparently I’m still a nasty-crazy-piece of shit-bitch.  At least that’s what I hear on this page.  I am trying what I can, but it doesn’t seem to be working as well or as quickly as I desperately need.  Maybe not reading about what other people are going through for a while will help.  I hope so.  Something needs to change.

Categories: Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Cutting, Depressed, Dissociation, Mental Illness, Self Harm, Self-Injury | Leave a comment

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