I haven’t written anything in a while. I’m not sure why. There have definitely been things that I could blather on about.
I have decided that I can’t read other people’s blogs as much as I have been. They are bringing me down. Triggering me. Encouraging me to cut. Making me think crazy is ok. Hindering normalcy.
I went through my email this morning and saw that I had almost 200 blogs that I subscribe to I needed to read. The more I read, the more anxious I became. I was thinking about cutting. I was coming out of my skin. I was doing kinda ok this morning, but started to come unhinged while reading about the struggles of others. I decided that I needed to STOP. As I skimmed through the blogs in my email, I made note of which blogs to remove from my email list. I did not unfollow anyone as I would not like to see my numbers go down, and I’m sure it’s the same for everyone else. There are still some that I will receive in my email as they are written, but that number has decreased DRAMATICALLY from what it was.
I hope this helps me somewhat. Apparently I’m still a nasty-crazy-piece of shit-bitch. At least that’s what I hear on this page. I am trying what I can, but it doesn’t seem to be working as well or as quickly as I desperately need. Maybe not reading about what other people are going through for a while will help. I hope so. Something needs to change.