A revision of PLEASE Master


Yesterday in my DBT group we learned about PLEASE Master as part of the emotion regulation section.  As soon as my doctor passed out the worksheet, I was distracted.  I mean, come on!  “Please Master”?  When I heard those two words, I saw it in my head this way:  “Please, Master?”, like you’re begging your Dominant Master to allow you to use the bathroom.  Does anyone else see the sexual connections here?  Why would a skill to help a Borderline start by begging?  As if we don’t feel bad enough.  Not to mention, the person who is being begged is the Master!  I really do not feel like the title of this skill does it justice.

The thought behind it is that there are several things you can control to help aid in regulating your emotions.  Taking care of your physical health, like going to the doctor or dentist when necessary and getting proper medical care.  Eating balanced meals set in a schedule.  Avoiding mood altering drugs and alcohol.  Getting the proper amount of sleep.  Exercising a healthy amount each day. The final part is to build mastery.  You are supposed to try to do something every day that makes you feel competent and in control.

Now, I’m not just going to complain about having to think/say “Please, Master?” without offering some kind of replacement.  Here is the new name of the skill that I am going to start using. REACH Empowerment.  Doesn’t that sound so much better?  I can say, “Reach empowerment!” all day long and feel better.  I don’t think my mood would be much lifted if I went throughout the day saying, “Please, Master?”.  I can imagine that my mood would become considerably worse.  Here is what the letters in REACH Empowerment stand for:

R – receive proper medical treatment
E – eat properly balanced meals
A – avoid mood-altering drugs and alcohol
C – catch the right amount of zzz’s
H – healthily exercise daily

Empowerment – try to do one thing each day to make yourself feel competent and in control.

See?  It MEANS the same thing as the original, but it is easier for me, and quite possibly a lot of other people, to say throughout the day.  And let me just ask here:  How can you feel competent and in control when you are begging your Master?  No, thank you. I would rather reach empowerment.

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Categories: Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, DBT, Mental Illness, Therapy | 11 Comments

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11 thoughts on “A revision of PLEASE Master

  1. When I was doing DBT I had issues with some of their weird acronyms as well. I think yours is MUCH better. 🙂

  2. REACH Empowerment is SO much better!

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  6. Jessica

    please master doesn’t mean begging a master it means: please master these skills… Think of it like your therapist asking you “please master these skills” or please learn these skills

    • I am fully aware of what PLEASE Master really means. Upon first hearing it, though, when I was messed up emotionally and messed up about sex, it hit me wrong. Some things take on different meanings for different people. If you don’t like the revision to REACH Empowerment, then don’t use it.

      BTW-My therapist agreed with me, has contacted Marsha Linehan to petition her to change PLEASE Master to REACH Empowerment, and has started using my revision in the DBT group I attend.

  7. Christy

    I really like your new name for this set of skills. I like that it does sound more positive and is made from the first letters of the words. I am going to share it with my DBT group, thanks for sharing it with everyone.

    • Wow! I’m honored that you like it and are going to share with your DBT group. I hope it helps everyone! 🙂

    • HEY! I gotta sWHOOP down in on this. After months of watching meg get dicked around my PROFESSIONALs she came home with “PLEASE Master”? Right from the beginning she said it made no sense, in ANY WAY. Even as an ACRONYM it is fucked, right? and the symbolism? are you fucking kidding me?

      Much like STEWS, teachers and nurses, I know you chicks have tried to corner BPD but HOLD THE PRESSES! Just kidding! It just seemed that, for an illness that manifested itself historically in women and usually in ways that left them feeling bad sexually, PLEASE Master was a VERY dull choice!

      Meg developed REACH Empowerment all in her own head. I told her I thought it was AWESOME. She told her therapist about it. her therapist adopted it. Meg’s therapist was a STUDENT of Marsha Lineham, who developed DBT.

      THAT is MY Girl, Meg: Proverbs 31, right?

      FAWN and ADMIRE the QUEEN who will ….BACK, Monkey Back…GOD,…dammit. BAD Monkey.

      Seriously. Meg is awesome!

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