What is she trying to pull?


I received an email from my mother over the weekend.  I at first thought that it was prompted by Jay’s many Facebook messages to her, which can be read about HERE for anyone who’s interested.  The email was pretty light.  Pretty superficial.  Just the usual “Hi, how are things?” kind of email.  I had decided not to respond to her Facebook message from Friday (which can be read about HERE), even after Jay sent all those messages to her.  I had decided to just leave it alone, and not respond.  As stated HERE, I am trying to use Radical Acceptance to remember that I do not have the family relationship that I would like.  I am trying to stop setting myself up for disappointment.  When I saw the email she sent, asking how I was and saying they are busy with their home business, I was, again, conflicted as to what to do.  Should I respond, or not?  I had decided this morning that I would just ignore the email.  After all, she was only reaching out because Jay sent those messages to her, right?

Turns out that may not be the case.  When I started to discuss it with Jay this morning, he informed me that he had ALSO sent my brother a Facebook message.  It said something along the lines of “Tell your mother she needs to reach out to Meagan or she (being my mother) will get her feelings hurt.”

Now I’m wondering:  Did she take the hint?  Did my brother tell her what the message was that he received?  Has she finally decided to make an effort?  If I had continued believing that she only emailed me due to Jay’s messages, I could have ignored it.  Now I’m wondering if she is trying to make a point to reach out to me.  Maybe the message to my brother opened her eyes, and she realized what a shitty mother she was being.  Neglectful and hurtful.  Ignoring me when I reached out.  Maybe she is trying to change?

I don’t know what to do.  I wish  none of this had happened.  I wish she hadn’t sent me that Facebook message, or if she had, that Jay had not messaged her back, or if he had, that Jay had not messaged my brother.  What a quandary.  I have my DBT group on Tuesday.  I suppose I will bring this issue up then, and probably in my individual session on Thursday.  Until then, I am not going to do ANYTHING, and I am going to try not to dwell on this.  I hate that I keep getting twisted up by those people.  I hate that even the MENTION of them messes with my head.

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Categories: Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, DBT, Mental Illness, Relationships | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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