And Away I Go!

I work with a lot of contractors who travel for business.  Right now I am living in Arkansas, and that’s where the office is located, but almost everyone who is working out of this office (except for ME!) lives in a different state.  This project is almost over.  When it is, the contractors will either be going back home, or, most likely, taking a position in ANOTHER state.  This has really gotten me thinking about moving and leaving Arkansas.  I’m wanting to leave this area for so many reasons.  Jay and I had planned to move to Colorado at the end of the year, but due to money issues and my therapy, we decided to hold off.  Now, with all the talk of people leaving the area, I am getting antsy again.

I have had a co-worker or two ask me if I was offered a position in another state, would I take it.  Up until the last couple of weeks, I kept saying, “No.”  I wanted to move, but it didn’t seem like a possibility.  Money is tight.  We have no savings.  I just started therapy in June.  My mental health is up in the air.  Jay’s mental health is up in the air.  It just really didn’t seem like a possible option.

I thought before discounting it, that maybe I should talk to Jay.  We discussed it over a few days.  We thought about money, but I have had several people tell me that, if I took a position in another state, they would make sure I got there.  I knew if I was offered something else, the pay would be a lot more than what I’m making now, not to mention I would get a daily food allowance, AND my housing would be paid for, at least in part.

Then I was worried about our dog.  What would we do with Mayo?  There is absolutely NO way we could leave him or give him up.  He’s part of our fambly!!  I started looking into temporary housing and hotels that would take pets.  Turns out there are a lot!!

I talked to Jay about my DBT group, and my mental issues.  Was I ready to leave the group?  We have Marsha Linehan’s DBT workbook, and my therapist actually suggested that I start going through it on my own, apart from the group.  I also feel much more stable than I have in a while.  I am better able to control my emotions and my temper due to the skills I’ve learned in DBT.

Next step was to talk to my boss, and tell him that I would be open for a position in another state.  He’s one of the ones that kept asking if I would leave Arkansas.  I was ready to tell him this past Thursday that I was willing to move.  Willing and WANTING.

This morning I got a call from the company in Florida that has me on loan from my temp agency.  She asked if I would be willing to move to the other project.  I couldn’t believe it!!  I said, “YES!!!”  She offered me 50% more pay than I am currently receiving, told me I would have a daily food allowance of $40, and said that they would be paying for a TWO bedroom apartment!!

I’m not thrilled at the location, just because it is closer than I would like to my birth family.  I suppose it doesn’t matter since I won’t be seeing them, though.  I am going to be relocated to the mountains of wild, wonderful West Virginia!  I will be able to experience all four seasons and SNOW again!!  I’m excited!!

Jay and I talked, and, after this project in West Virginia, we may just see if we can be relocated somewhere else.  Since I am going to be hired on by this company and not be working through a temp agency, there is the possibility of future travel.  Working somewhere for six months to a year, and then moving on to the next place.  I think that this is going to be very good for us.  Jay and I often feel the desire to pick up and move.  Now we actually have the opportunity to do so!

My only hesitance is not being in my DBT group anymore.  I guess if I am making so much more money, and if I have insurance, I should be able to find a group where I’m moving.  Even if I can’t  find a group, I have learned the skills to help me keep from hurting myself, and to not be in such a bad place emotionally.  My therapist and doctor both think that I can go through the DBT workbook on my own, though they did say the group was good because of the support it provided.  God has gotten me through this far.  I am confident that He will continue to look out for me.  This job opportunity was absolutely put in place by God.  Things are working out too smoothly for it to be anything else.  God has been blessing us in so many ways these past six months.  I know that this is just one more blessing from Him.

Categories: Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, DBT, Mental Illness, Work | Tags: , , | 11 Comments

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11 thoughts on “And Away I Go!

  1. I am READY! I’ll get the chalk so we can identify the fresh road kill. You can learn to cook possum. FINALLY the raccoons will stay in the trees instead of on our porch at 2AM, rummaging through the cat food or looking for lighters.

    Don’t worry about my craziness. Out in the mountains? I’ll dig a PIT, build a BUNKER, crawl in the dirt and grunt and just whack things’ heads off with the Kukri.

    I’ll be Crazy Jay Foo Foo, chopping off all the heads of all the woodland creatures.

    • Meagan

      LEARN to cook opossum? What do you think is in the ziti?

      • Crazy Jay - The Ultimate Chameleon

        DAMN, woman…we are in AR. Why haven’t you been using armadillo?

      • Meagan

        I use armadillo when I’m frying “chicken”. It’s a lot cheaper when I can find it on the side of the road…Hey! I’ll fit right in in WV!!

      • Or we could eat RAZORBACK! GOD knows they need to be put out of their misery this year.

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