Today I told my DBT group about my job offer and upcoming move. I was pretty nervous about it. It seems that anytime I tell someone about a big change in my life, or a major decision, they tell me it’s a bad idea and try to talk me out of it. Everyone else seems to think that they know how to live my life better than I do. Nosey co-workers included. I didn’t need to worry. The entire group (which today was just one other person and two therapists) was very excited for me. They congratulated me and told me what an awesome opportunity this was for me. My therapists told me that since I have Marsha Linehan’s DBT workbook, I should do just fine. They said I was able to go through it on my own.
That got me thinking: What if I really wasn’t that sick to begin with? What if I didn’t really need help?
I guess I know deep down that this is not the case. I’ve read over some of my early blogs from before I started any therapy. Some were pretty dark and disturbing. I’m glad that I wrote them. It gives me the opportunity to look back and see how I’ve grown and changed. It shows me all the skills I’ve learned and how much they help me.
When I began my DBT group, I was wondering if there was any hope for me. I wasn’t sure if I would ever feel better, or know how to act like a normal human being. I thought it would take more than three to four months before I started feeling better.
The fact is, though, that I was very bad off. I am positive that DBT and removing negative influences have saved my life. I hope I never forget what bad shape I was in. That will make me continue to appreciate the difference in my life today, and in the future.