I found out over the weekend that buspar, the anti-anxiety medicine that I take causes memory problems. Great. It’s not like I don’t struggle with my memory anyway. Lately, I have been forgetting things. Forgetting conversations took place. And not just flat out forgetting. I’ve been misremembering things, too.
Jay has been telling me lately that I must not respect him or listen to what he says. We will have a conversation, and shortly after I have forgotten it. Not always. Not every time. Not every word. But I forget enough conversations and partial conversations to make things difficult.
Jay and I had a pretty nasty fight in the middle of the night over the weekend. I didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. In fact, I was pretty sure I was doing exactly what Jay had requested of me. I couldn’t understand why he was angry. He reminded me of a conversation we had had, and I realized that I had misremembered what he said. That’s when he started saying that he must not matter enough for me to listen to what he says.
He calmed down and I went to sleep. He woke me up early in the morning to tell me he had been doing some research. Turns out buspar causes memory problems. No, not just memory LOSS, but memory PROBLEMS. I take this to mean exactly what I have been experiencing: Not being able to remember things unless reminded, not being able to remember things even WHEN reminded (like a blank spot in my memory), and remembering things incorrectly.
I’m glad that Jay took the time to do a little research. When he woke me up, he had totally backed off of everything he was angry about. I can’t really be blamed if the medicine is making my brain swiss cheese.
I guess this is one more thing that I will need to work to overcome. As it is, I have to write down everything I need to do at work or I will forget. I’m going to have a hard time writing down everything Jay says, though. Maybe I should start walking around with a tape recorder…LMCAO