Last night I was thinking about New Year’s resolutions. I hate those suckers. All they are (to me, anyway) is a reminder of what a failure I am. As a person with a personality disorder, I already spend enough time dwelling on what a piece-of-crap failure I am at life, thank you very much! I can’t tell you how many times in the last eight months that I resolved to not say this certain thing, or use that tone, or exhibit this behavior. Forget New YEAR’S resolutions…I make a New DAY’S resolution almost seven times a week. And I break them just as often.
No, I think this year I’m not going to worry about a New Year’s resolution. I know all the things I need to work on, and there is probably not enough space on the internet for me to list all of them. I am going to just continue what I am doing. I am going to go day by day, relying on the knowledge I’ve gained from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (and a little help from God – maybe more than a little), and try to do the next right thing. Looking at my goal resolution for an entire year is just too much for me to handle. I’m just going to take it slowly, and hope that each day I will be a little better off. That each day I will be a little nicer, say one less nasty thing, not use that mean tone as often, not assume that EVERY time I interpret something negatively that that is an accurate portrayal of reality. I’m looking forward to this upcoming year being better than the last…One day at a time.