If someone was hurling horrible, unthinkable accusations at you, wouldn’t you respond? Especially if it was a terrible thing you were being accused of that you didn’t even do? I know I would! If someone accused me of something that wasn’t accurate, I would stand up in a heartbeat and deny it.
I just find it very very odd that my birth family found my blog and has been reading it, they know that I know they read it, and still absolute silence on the sexual abuse issue.
I have written several posts just putting out ponderings of possible sexual abuse. Then, in two posts last week I straight up accused my father of sexually abusing me, and I commented that my mother knew about it, and may have even taken part herself. Then, to make sure they didn’t miss it, I tweeted those posts to my cousin. He is a pastor. He is also very close with my mother’s mother. My grandmother likes to start trouble throughout that family, and I’m sure she leapt at the chance to spread THAT juicy news!
I haven’t heard anything on the subject from any member of that family. Even my cousin that I tweeted chose to remain silent.
Now, I know that I ended contact with the whole lot of those worthless lumps. I just really expected to find an email in my trash folder (All their emails go straight to Trash, do no pass Go, do not collect $100), explaining how I am obviously “troubled” to make such accusations. Or a comment on one of those posts. I know I would have said something long ago if I had been accused of doing such a thing to a person who was entrusted to my care. Even if it WAS true, I wouldn’t want people believing it! I would fall all over myself to make sure my name wasn’t linked to the sexual abuse of my daughter.
I was really wanting to send an email to my mother and father the other day. Directly pointing my finger at them. NAMING their sin. EXPOSING them. Jay talked me out of it. He told me that all it would do is cause me to have expectations that I KNEW would not be met. I have gone to my birth parents many times with issues I have regarding the way they have treated me. Each time was met with denial and mocking. I walked away from each conversation feeling like a stupid liar who wasn’t important enough to be validated by her own birth family.
I suppose I don’t need to worry about having that conversation with my birth parents. I know that, when the time is right, they will be judged and found guilty. God will take care of all that for me one day. And they should fear His judgement and wrath far more than mine.