Trying to Keep My Head Up


I have found myself slipping back into a depression.  This weekend all I wanted to do was sleep, get drunk, and eat, which is pretty much all I did.

I know that I need to take steps to keep from getting even more down.  I know that I need to make sure to shower regularly, and eat normal amounts (not too much, not too little).  I need to make sure that I am not sleeping too much.  I need to insert positive experiences into my day by doing little things that I enjoy.

I know what I need to do, but I also know it’s a lot easier to just hide in my hotel room when I’m not working.  I just want to bury my feelings in alcohol and sleep.

Jay and I have been spending time with another couple.  They have been through a lot of crap, like we have, and they’ve been married for almost 25 years.  They also know what it’s like to struggle with and love people with mental illnesses.  They have been helping Jay come out of his funk by giving him other people to talk to, different perspectives on things, and encouragement.  I like hanging out with them, too.  They help me to not feel so isolated.

I guess tonight I will try to push myself to leave the hotel room by going for a walk downtown with Jay, or by hanging out with the other couple.  Either way it will keep me from drinking myself into a stupor and falling asleep early again.

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Categories: Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Daily Life, DBT, Depression, Diet, Drinking, Mental Illness, Relationships, Stress | Leave a comment

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