A Follow Up


I spoke to my supervisor about the unwanted contact this morning.  She was appropriately horrified and disgusted   I was nervous to let her know what happened to the point of almost working up to a panic attack.  I have been fired in the past for complaining about sexual harassment.  She told me to send him an email, blind copy her, and then if it happened again, he would be fired.  Works for me!!  My letter is below.  I know it’s going to be awkward when I see or speak to him again, but I also know from experience that if I keep my mouth shut about unwanted contact that it will continue.  I will no more stand for being touched when I don’t want it to happen.

“Creepy Guy’s Name:

I didn’t mention anything to you this morning when it happened because you caught me off guard, but I did not appreciate you putting your arm around me and leaning your head to touch mine.  I do not like my personal space being invaded, and I would ask that it please not happen again.  I don’t know you very well, and we are in a professional environment, making that kind of contact inappropriate.  Thank you for your understanding, and I look forward to continue interacting with you on a professional basis.”

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Categories: Anger, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Mental Illness, Panic Attack, PTSD, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Dysfunction | Tags: , | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “A Follow Up

  1. figuringitout724

    Reblogged this on figuringitout724 and commented:
    Here’s a follow up to how I handled the unwanted touching this morning.

  2. Well done! I hope he never goes near you again.

    • Thanks! I’m worried that I sounded too harsh. I never come off that way in person! I have such a hard time speaking up when I should, and my thoughts get jumbled and I just don’t even know what to say! I wish I had 5 minutes to think of how to respond to things people say to me, and to think of how to act in any situation. That’s why I love email and writing – I can PLAN what I want to say, and make it sound exactly the way I want it to. When I try to speak it comes out a jumbled mess! Ugh, oh well. I just hope it did the trick. And hopefully he’ll pass the word on to the other male employees!

  3. Oh good! I’m glad you have a normal supervisor? Do you really want to work for a company whose supervisors can’t follow basic federal law?

  4. I’m glad you stood up for your personal space and demanded that it be respected. I don’t know this guy so I don’t know his intentions. He could be overly friendly or flirtatious, but like you said, you were in a professional environment where that type of behavior should not happen. As a male, there has been three times when a female co-worker has told me that they weren’t comfortable with something I did, although my intentions were purely innocent (and I never put my arm around one or my head to theirs), and I had to learn a) everyone comes from different places so while walking one female to her car in the middle of the night as a safety measure may sit well with one female, another may find it uncomfortable and b) as a male, I have to always think before I act when working with women, even if my intentions are innocent because depending on the female, their experiences with males, etc., I could easily find myself in a sticky situation.

  5. Will wored and very professional. Glad you have the support of management

  6. Viola Lilac Indue

    I once worked at a place where this guy used to touch me inappropriately. He pawed me a lot when no one was around. This dude got married while I was working there. The messed up part was I didn’t do anything about it. Some of the women there were bullying me, too. My manager didn’t do anything about the bullying, so I figured he wouldn’t care about the touching either. So I didn’t mention it. He and I didn’t get along. And, sometimes, when we spoke, I felt him eying me up and down. I ended up quitting after a year. Kudos to you for speaking up; it’s so great that your supervisor cares.

  7. I think your email sounded firm but professional. Good for you. His behavior was definitely inappropriate.

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