Sometimes I wish I was the only one to have to deal with me. The only one to be affected by all the fucked up parts of me. I wish I didn’t have to see what I do to the one person who loves me. I think sometimes how nice it would be to be alone, so I don’t have to be the one to cause others hurt, anger, and frustration. It would be nice to be on my own, and deal with my issues when it’s just me that will be hurt. When there isn’t pressure for me to change immediately, even though I can’t. When doing the best I can do is good enough. I wish I didn’t have the responsibility of caring for another’s feelings. Of having to meet another’s needs.
On the other hand, I can’t imagine going through this alone.