She is Not Me – With Picture

Who is this girl in the photo?  Not me.
She looks ahead.  Innocent eyes.  Wide grin.
She is ignorant of events to come.
She has not been broken.  Used.  Defiled.
She does not yet know the world hates her.
Still so full of hope and expectations.
Wide open.  Still trusting those in her life.
Not knowing the hurt and pain they will cause.
They wouldn’t do that.  They say they love her.
She hasn’t yet learned the horrors of love.
She will soon find that love morphs to evil.
Everyone uses love as a weapon.
Trying to beat her down.  To make her bleed.
She will soon feel worthless.  She is trash.
She won’t recover.  Her soul feels dead.
She’s condemned to a life trapped by her past.
But not yet.  Today still carefree.  Happy.
She’s not me.  I’m not her.  Impossible.


Categories: Abuse, Anger, Borderline Personality Disorder, BPD, Depression, Dissociation, Life, Mental Illness, Poetry, PTSD | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “She is Not Me – With Picture

  1. Beautifully written, sad as it is. Thank you for sharing.

  2. She will recover. She is you. And you will take care of her now.

  3. savemefrombpd

    I feel for you. I looked back at photos of me pre-messedupness… Aka, pre-9/10 years old.

    It’s sad to look at before and after.

    But let’s focus on the future and how we can change ourselves for the better and smile genuinely once again. Even though we can’t change everything. We will still have our past, we can still fill our lives with more positive things for this moment onwards. X

  4. Care for her now as you know she needed then, and still today.

  5. Hopefully, one day you will recover

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